Raising Issues
This guide is intended for addressing issues in a shared living situation, but it can also be applied to other collaborative settings. Regular check-ins in a household have proven to reduce the number of serious issues that need to be addressed. These tips are valuable in various aspects of life, and I have personally benefited greatly from them. If a serious matter needs to be discussed, the following tips can be helpful, but feel free to approach the situation in your own way. It is essential to consider power dynamics and privilege in all relationships when implementing the following suggestions.
Giving Negative Feedback:
- Identify what part of the issue is your own and what part requires feedback. Journaling about your feelings can be a helpful starting point.
- Be firm, direct, clear, and specific.
- Address one issue at a time.
- Own your feelings by using statements like “When you do… I feel… because…”
- Consider Nonviolent Communication (NVC) techniques.
- Acknowledge your role in the problem and how your actions contribute.
- Affirm the person when possible and mention things you appreciate about them early in the conversation.
- Allow space for the other person’s feelings and be prepared for their feedback.
- Be clear about what you are willing to negotiate on and what you are not.
- Practice the conversation beforehand and consider involving a neutral third party if necessary.
Receiving Negative Feedback:
- Pause before reacting and focus on your breathing.
- Understand the concerns of the person giving feedback by asking yourself key questions.
- Evaluate the feedback objectively and consider alternate perspectives.
- Seek advice from friends to gain different insights.
- Respond to feedback as a gift, reiterating the concerns, creating an open space for discussion, and agreeing on next steps.
- Thank the person for their honesty and willingness to share feedback.
- Learn from the feedback by reflecting on personal growth and areas for improvement.
By following these guidelines, open and honest communication can be fostered in various relationships and settings.
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